Time Management Strategies for the “I can’t do it all” Teacher
Hello, dear friend.
Of all of the time management profile blogs I’ve written, this one is the hardest for me to write. Why? Because it hits close to home and is one I feel a little guilty about.
Maybe you’ll relate to my story.
Maybe you’ll resonate with my feelings of deep brokenness towards a broken system. Maybe you’ll identify with feelings of bitterness that resign you to doing nothing at all. Maybe you’ll recognize yourself in my depiction of losing myself, both as an educator and a person.
And maybe, just maybe, this blog will be an early step in your journey towards healing. A journey towards more time for the things that matter and a release of the negative emotions holding you back.
If you aren’t sure this describes you, you may want to read my initial blog on the 4 Time Management Pitfalls. There are 4 different profiles that I go through in detail. You can review it and see which one is the best fit.
Once you are sure this is the profile you most identify with, you’re ready to begin. Let’s review the “I can’t do it all”profile.
If you find this difficult to read because it is so accurate, then you are definitely in the right place (and in good company). I want to first start by sharing a bit of my story. I think it will help provide a backdrop for how we get to this place and how we move forward.
As I’ve said in previous blogs, I can relate to all of these time-management profiles at one time or another, but this one in particular perfectly describes me in my last year teaching. In previous years, I strived to be the “Do it all” teacher and was moderately successful following that path. While I didn’t have tons of extra time, I did get joy out of lots of the “extras” I was doing. Parents were mostly supportive and admin were encouraging.
Flash forward to my last year when all of that came crashing down. I found myself stuck behind a screen on Zoom (like so many of you have experienced), teaching students that did not want to be there. I mean, can I blame them? Often I didn’t want to be there either. I knew that my best attempt at creating a class community and class environment was futile. In the end, it wasn’t enough. More trainings, more tools, more pep talks couldn’t fix the problem.
Enter bitterness. Enter insecurities. Enter anxiety.
Hello, darkness, my old friends.
Beyond these negative feelings, enter a positive pregnancy test in September…a day before school starts. Suddenly, with the positive pregnancy test in hand, I recognized all of my priorities would have to shift.
My early days would look a lot like throwing up in the morning at the smell of coffee in the house, wiping my face, touching up my makeup, and plastering on a smile to greet all of my students and give them the most eager “hello” I could muster.
I did my best. I tried to repeat mantras. I prayed a lot. I tried to give grace to myself, but the negative feelings continued to enter and made it so hard to get anything done. I was paralyzed by those emotions coupled with some negative experiences and realities I was dealing with in the virtual classroom. It was just plain hard. Impossible, really.
If I could have grabbed coffee with defeated Erin at that time, I would have shared some of these strategies in hopes that she’d find relief and true grace. So, here I am with my coffee cup, virtually grabbing coffee with you in hopes that it may just help you, too.
Start with compassion. Repeat and internalize the mantra “It feels like no one is taking care of me, so I have permission to take care of myself.”
You have permission. It is okay, even necessary, to do what you need to do to preserve who you are. The more you kindly and compassionately tell yourself this, the less bitterness at everyone and everything else you will harbor.
Practice the “Backwards/Forwards” strategy
This simple 3-step strategy is a must-have reflection strategy for anyone feeling frustrated and hopeless. Here are the steps below:
Identify the frustration. Record it in the middle of a piece of paper, or if doing the exercise in your head, make a fist with your right hand and think of the frustration as being held in that fist.
Think backwards to the source of the frustration. Was it something someone said? Was it something that happened or didn’t happen that was supposed to? Was it a disappointment? If doing this on paper, record the source to the left of the frustration. Brainstorm any other micro events that contributed to it. If doing it in your head, pass the “frustration fist” to your left hand.
Move towards hope.This is not some toxic positivity garbage. I’m also not saying this step is easy by any means, but it is possible and it is important. Imagine in your mind’s eye what it would look like to be free of that frustration, for things to improve in that area, or for forgiveness to be given. Do what you need to do to accept the hope and open yourself up to the hope. Then write and record it to the right of the frustration. You will see the progression form. Source—> frustration—> hope. If doing it in your head, pass the “frustration fist” back to your right hand, squeeze it tight, and then release it. The more you practice this strategy, the more you can release the things you’re holding onto.
Reevaluate boundaries
Hear me out because this may be controversial. I do believe boundaries are good, but I don’t believe all of them are good. And I don’t believe all of them come from a good place. Most boundaries are set in place for self-protection. This is a very good goal of boundary-setting, but when boundaries are made out of spite or bitterness, they can have an ulterior motive as well: hurting others.
If you recognize that some of the boundaries you’ve set are intentionally or unintentionally hurting others (or yourself), you may want to reevaluate them. It typically is a more subtle nuance. For example, you may in bitterness say you are leaving right at 3pm every day because you don’t owe the district anything, but then you recognize that some of what used to fill you up as a teacher (decorating your bulletin board, preparing for a new unit, or sending positive parent messages) are things you used to fit in after school. Instead of the all-or-nothing thinking that says, “I’m always leaving right away”, try changing the boundary to, I will set a 15 minute timer after school each day and whatever gets done, gets done. After that, I’ll go home.
Begin your own passion project
Don’t allow work to take everything from you. Don’t lose yourself. As many of us have realized, we are replaceable. If we allow ourselves to become small and complacent, we lose the teacher DNA that made us wonderful and effective. I always wanted to do a class-wide service project, like a compost garden or donating money to create a well for another country, but found it so hard to do those things because I was drowning in all of the other things. Make those passion projects the most important things.
If you don’t have any work passion projects that make you feel like you, then start a project at home. Do you want to learn to knit? Cook? Have movie clubs where you discuss the new movies? Go for it. By investing in ourselves in this way, we discover we are worth the time it takes to care for ourselves.
Decide whether it may be time to leave the profession
Woof. This is a heavy one. Sometimes, the bitterness and stress and overwhelm is so great that the classroom becomes your prison where the dark feelings are your only friends, where admin are the prison guards, and the weekends become like a tiny window in your tiny cell, the only light you look forward to.
If this is where you are at, first, please consider seeing a therapist. When I went to therapy as a teacher, it was invaluable. You shouldn’t have to continue feeling those negative feelings. There is hope.
Second, you may want to consider leaving. Sometimes, no amount of time management strategies can fix the situation. If work is the source of the frustration time and time again and it is negatively affecting your health, you may want to look elsewhere. Remember, you are a helper, not the healer. You don’t have to stay to fix a broken system or stay to fix broken children. If you consider leaving, I highly recommend following @teachercareercoach on instagram. She goes through how to transition from teaching to another profession that uses your skills. You are not alone.
With that, I leave you with this reminder again:
