3 Strategies to Help You Reframe, Refocus, and Regain Control
Picture this:
The new year starts. A roster is posted on the front door of your classroom. 29 students. Wait, you re-read it again hoping it’s a misprint-that’s 5 more than last year. Nope, they’re all yours. 29 bodies that will somehow have to fit in your small classroom. 29 minds looking to be shaped. 29+ parents waiting to hear from you. 29 papers to grade…every time you assign something.
You take a deep breath, promise yourself it will all be okay and open your email.
“PD tomorrow at 8am. You will be receiving training on the new curriculum roll-out.”
Hold up. New curriculum? Didn’t we just have something new last year? Have we even reviewed any data to see if that was effective? Have they asked any teachers for their input?
Sigh. You grin and bear it, lines of exhaustion creating deeper creases on your forehead.
PD day comes and you put on your optimist pants, grab your venti coffee and look for a seat. You are running late and can only see one seat available. It’s next to Melanie, the teacher that can’t stand you and doesn’t hide it. She can’t stand your happiness. Can’t stand your strength and resolve. Can’t stand your work-ethic and solution-oriented mindset. She sighs loudly each time you raise your hand and participate in discussion. As you make your way back to your seat after giving a brief presentation, you hear her whisper and snicker to her like-minded peers.
You feel so, so small. You are defeated. The exhaustion and frustration and feelings of inadequacy and disillusionment well up in you. Tears form in your sleepless eyes.
I am losing my mind. I just can’t do this anymore.
I personally experienced each of these scenarios many times when I was in the classroom. Looking back, I definitely let what was out of my control (class size, district requirements, and teacher peer relationships) dictate how I felt. It’s hard for it not to affect you, right?
I have since learned that before you can do any of the work to regain control and peace, you have to practice radical acceptance. You can’t do it all and that’s a fact. The quicker you accept that and decide for yourself what is most important to you, the more peace you will feel. Here are 3 strategies I wish someone had told me when I was in the thick of it:
Demands and Desires. This strategy will help you prioritize your own desires while balancing others’ expectations. With this strategy, you will make a list of all of the “demands” and “desires” related to your position. You will then sort them by importance. Make sure YOU are in the driver’s seat when doing this exercise and that you’re not thinking about what everyone else expects. After the exercise, you can evaluate your personal success by how you are valuing those things that are most important to you.
Must Do, May Do. This is an alternate strategy to the “Demands and Desires” exercise. To use this strategy, make a T-chart of “Must Do” and “May Do” tasks. “Must Do” are those things that you are required to do to avoid serious consequences and “May Do” are tasks you would like to do, but have no negative consequences attached to them if they do not get done. This strategy will help you prioritize the tasks you have to do, so that you have more time for the “May Do’s” that you really want to do.
One Thing Only: The final strategy is a great one to do every weekend before a new work week. Record all of the demands, thoughts, and worries consuming you (both in your control and out of your control). You first draw a line through everything outside of your control. For example, how a parent may respond to an email, a child not turning in an assignment, waiting on an evaluation, etc. and then begin crossing off other things that you don’t need to worry about right now. Keep narrowing it down until you have decided on one thing only that you will focus on. Finally, before the week starts, make a quick action plan to address that one thing.
Once you prioritize, identify what you can change, and release the rest. You will have much more time and mental capacity for that new Netflix show. Happy binge watching!
-Erin
Check out this FREE mini-workbook that includes these 3 strategies. Great for anyone who wants to start regaining control and letting go.
This mini-workbook is for any educator who is ready to reclaim their peace and purpose in their work. It contains 3 strategy-based templates that will help you prioritize and feel more in control.
